I fucking hate cancer.

I used to laugh, when people cried. I always thought they were sad, miserable and weak.
but now, here I am.  I don’t know what to do, and I feel like I’ve got no where to go but to sleep. And sleep is not something I want right now.  Half of me wants to pretend there is nothing wrong.  Pretend nothing is happening.  Go along with the limited things I hear and pretend like that’s all I know. All I feel. But that’d be lying to myself.
I probably look pathetic, going to my blog for help.
Like it’ll do anything for me but clear my mind… because those things, bloggers say, are true.  And before you start to think of me as pathetic. think of someone you know who knows someone with cancer, now think of someone you know with cancer… now think of someone in your family….  if you don’t know anyone who knows someone with cancer…
now  you do. I just wish there was something I could do.
but for now, I’m just going to sit here and cry and replay this song until I sleep.

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