As I type this, I cannot see clearly, I’m laughing too hard. My eyes are watering and my nose is running. My head hurts from my ponytail that’s been in my hair since I-don’t-know-when. I’m in the library, typing. People walk around, everyone looks *somewhat* productive and finally, I feel like a college student. I’m wearing a sweatshirt and sweatpants. My hair is unkempt, constrained by a single pony-tail holder. The Coca Cola I swore not to drink is sitting next to me and I am surrounded by books. My phone is on airplaine mode and for a large part of the day (the productive part, anyways) my internet has been off. Annoying songs are ringing in my ears. Somehow, they motivate me to write, more and more. I am getting work done. I’m reading, studying. Progress is being made. Lazy college student, I am, no more. Well. Okay.
I’ve stopped laughing by this point. I’ve committed to writing this post.
I have been studying since nine o’clock this morning. It just never ends. I’m a freshman, remember… and at this point, I’ve learned that I NEED to KNOW this stuff. I need to put some hard work in. I’ve moved once. This morning I was in a friend’s house, we were being productive for a while… until we all began to become delirious . As delirium hit, we left for the library- where the REALLY productive people are, right? I’ve begun to open up books from the beginning of the year that I haven’t touched in a while.
This is the first time I’ve been productive in the library. It’s been a whole semester and I haven’t taken advantage of this building …. until today. I had my doubts about it, so many people and humming voices and books and things to look at….. I can’t look up. Don’t look up, I keep telling myself my friend and her boyfriend are sitting accross from me. Third wheeling here. Not only that, if I look up and we make eye contact, I have no doubt in my mind that I will burst out laughing. None at all. I mean, I know I will. If I can write two essays right now, I can surely write a blog post in between.
So now I know, this is what it means to be a college student. I finally feel like I’m in college. Innitiation. FINALLY. (except, let’s be honest, nobody wants to be studying like this *all* of the time. That would be completely terrible.)
So, with that, meet our library: (photo courtesy of sonoma.edu) Except, picture it with a dark sky and the clock is glowing. I’m on the bottom floor of this three story monster. I’m getting work done, and surprisingly am not as stressed as I thought I would be- or as I was a little while ago.
I think this delirium is how we deal with stress. We just laugh it off.
ANYWAYS. Studying. Finals. A note to anybody else cramming right now: YOU CAN DO THIS. They’ll be over in a week, I promise!
Now, back to work!