cha ( lle ) nge

challenge – change.  the word combination is inspired by Tori Self.  She thought of it first.

it’s kind-of just stuck with me as a sort of unintended similarity in word and struck me with the power of it’s message.

Change is quite the Challenge.

As of today, or rather sitting in the back of my geography class as my teacher proceeded to lecture about the biosphere (which is a rather fascinating subject, I might add).  My mind began to wander (it wasn’t the lecture, I promise).

Realizing the contempt of my ill-felt state of mind and current unrest was only just a state of mind and that it could (and should) be changed and altered – at best, as soon as possible.  It was my manner of thinking that needed to be changed, not the state and situation in which I am currently in (college, on-campus life.)

Firstly, reality check.

I’m in *college* my schedule begins at seven-thirty to eight in the morning and doesn’t take a minute’s break until seven to ten o’clock at night on most week days.  Weekends are for sleeping and horse shows.  Realistically a pet, specifically a sporty puppy with the intent of competing in dog sports was clearly overstepping my energy and time limits.  I have not the time, funds, nor the attention span that this creature would deserve.  It wasn’t going to happen, at least not this year.

My frustrated mind would have to settle that the timing just isn’t so that it would work out the way I’d wanted it to.

Secondly,  I need to change my mindset.

Goals.

Because November is “NaNoWriMo” (National Novel Writing Month) I intend to post once a day.  That’s right.  One post, per day throughout all of November.  It’s a goal and if I complete it, at least I’ll have some sort of satisfaction and accomplishment.  It’s not a novel per the intent of “NaNoWriMo” but it’s a step in that direction, writing a novel.  Practice, essentially.   It’s something to aim towards.  I’m not entirely sure what I’ll write about per sey.  It might just end up being more frequent blogging.

Focus.  I would like to direct my attention and priorities towards getting my minor in Environmental Science. (it’s been the focus of my studies and classes this semester)  I need to get my things together and prepare to write letters of intent and resumes for this summer to companies of my choice.  No idea what’s going to come of it, but we’ll see.   My resumes need to be accomplished the week after my midterms are all finished. (in two weeks)

Goals usually aren’t realistic unless there is some sort of reward.  Perhaps an Arctic Monkeys concert is in the near future……… we’ll see.  It’s a small dream I have to see them perform live but you know… music and stuff.

IF I could focus on school, class, equestrian… THEN I could play agility.  I just have to write a bit more and plan a bit more than that.  More than anything, find a way to stay inspired rather than find bits and pieces every few weeks (months).   It’s okay if reaching your goals take time, as long as you keep pursuing them and don’t let yourself give up.   It’s not about how long it takes or the challenges you will face to get there, it’s about being able to see yourself through these challenges.  The determination and willpower to get to your destination.

It takes a strong person to go for their goals, it takes a stronger person to accomplish them.

on a post-script, I could have been more specific with my goals and the plan I intend to follow, but that is coming on paper.  I haven’t figured that out yet.  For now, my attitude needed changing and that’s where I’m at.  Also- Happy Birthday Noelle, wish I could have been there to celebrate (soon, soon… )

second post-script because it’s relevant.  I’ve been having issues with this battle of learning to accept that for agility the timing isn’t quite right (or at least I keep telling my brain this) for the course of two-ish years.  It’s an on going battle and right now I’m winning.  There have been ups and downs and I just need to keep going and stop focusing on what I “could have” and “should have” done.  I believe that is all.  I don’t think this is the end of this battle either.  Not until I’m playing agility again anyways.

 

George in college
’twas a good day .

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